Sky Sports - 28th September 2006

We had a luvvie called Trevor call us, something about sky sports ,soccer am and crushing cricket bats with a main battle tank. And it had to be tomorrow .Were pretty flexible on time so it was just the money thing that was the clincher.

I started at Ten grand and through clever negotiation on Trevor’s part we settled at a few hundred .Nigel reckoned he could fit the job in between his hourly gallon of Coke and bucket of crisps so he painted one of our helmets flesh pink to wear while driving so his fan club would recognise him from a distance (could you tell?).

After a precision crush with a cricket bat and a round of applause, out came a hockey stick then a baseball club similar to SAS Colin's but without blood stains.

I was hoping somewhere in the sports bag was a cricketers safety box and see who was brave enough to wear it for the crush but alas this was not to be, For those of you wanting to join Nigel’s fan club please forward a cheque for £500 for full membership made out to tanks lot in a plain envelope, care of Coke Cola UK we will try and process this within 6 weeks but I'm afraid, as you would expect the backlog is building up.